Hockey Wilderness Rumor Generator 2000: The Second Act

This morning, when MBennett and I went in to the room to see why the HWRG2000 had not been sending out the rumors as we had hoped, we were floored. As we entered the room, there was a strong odor of Aqua Velva, and there were pieces of the Denver Post scattered about.

The only hint the HWRG2000 could give us was on the small screen that usually reports errors in inputs. For some reason it just kept flashing "Forsberg." It really was odd. If anyone has any clues as to who may have been tampering with the HWRG2000, please let us know.

This technology has already fallen prey to BizNasty and now to a seemingly random burglar bent on bringing back the glory days of a franchise in Colorado. We need a better lock, I think.

You can submit tips anonymously, or send in your "fact" based information to HWRumors(at)Hotmail(dot)com.

Make the jump for the latest batch processing results.

We received a couple of bits bits over the past week from Agent 001, Brigid22. These proved to be very juicy when plugged into the algorithms that make the HWRG2000 work. As you will see, the smallest bit of information can have a profound effect. You just never know the things NHL GMs are working on while "bandying about" and such.

With out further delay, your Wild rumors, courtesy of the HWRG2000.

While preparing for the holiday season, we stumbled across an amazing find. In the Wild Cookbook, Kyle Brodziak and his wife put in a recipe for Frozen Key Lime Torte.  Other than kinda sounding good, it could mean something.  Just saying.

Later tha night, my sis had a dream where Anders Lindback and Patrick Hornqvist were hitchhiking in St. Paul.  She didn't stop and pick them up because she didn't know them.  Of course, then she felt bad.  She was going to go back to go get them, but then she woke up. 

Are you kidding me? It could mean something? Everything means something, right? Clearly, this is highly useful information. After clearing out what we shall refer to as the "PCForsberg Error" and transcribing the proper TPS reports, the HWRG2000 gave us some solid leads this time.

From the cookbook:

RUMOR: Who doesn't love key lime torte? Clearly, Kyle Brodziak does! His wife was giving Kyle the business..."Minnesota is too cold" and "Minnesota doesn't let me see the beach." Stuck with the horrible decision of wife or mustache, Kyle did the only logical thing...fought to keep that mustache on his face, and has demanded a trade. More than likely the Florida Panthers are the target, but there is a chance the Wild could use Brodziak along with James Sheppard to pry Steven Stamkos out of Tampa.

Dreams are very powerful messages, and this one is no exception:

RUMOR: Hitchhiking is dangerous. Playing with a weak goaltender is even more dangerous. Not being stupid, the brass of the wild knew they had to get rid of a weak link. With two straight games giving up a goal each, Niklas Backstrom is now clearly expendable. Former owner of Nashville, Craig Leipold, will make a call and make this happen. Backstrom will be moved for Lindback and Hornqvist...but nobody will pick them up at the airport. EXTRA SPECIAL ADDENDUM: The HWRG2000 has enough information to speculate that if Lindback doesn’t cut it in net, the Wild will look to trade him to the Timberwolves as that team could use a 6’6" force.

The "Extra Special Addendum." This was something we could only hope for. It must be the solstice. The HWRG2000 only gives an extra sepcial addendum on very special occasions. Feel privileged, people. You are truly lucky.

While were cleaning up the mess from the burglar, we found a couple of scraps of the Post that had something scribbled on them. These scraps are believed to have been left behind by the burglar. Figuring it was a sign, and wanting to stick it to whoever burgled us, we plugged them into the HWRG2000, and the results were truly amazing. Since we have a couple of big holidays within the next ten days, we decided to simply include them here, since we may not get a chance to visit the HWRG2000 for a bit.

The Minnesota Wild would love to be rid of Havlat:

RUMOR: The Wild, and especially Wild fans, have long been tired of players who perform well. The only thing that matters is how much money they make, and they expect "more" for $5 million a year. While most GMs would play up the success a player is having, trying to maximize the return for the star player, Chuck Fletcher is too savvy for that. Instead, he let the other GMs know just how much weight the Wild are under with this Havlat deal, and that they would be over excited to make a deal to be rid of him.

Wanting to help him out, Greg Sherman, GM of the Avalanche stepped up with a big hug, and an offer. The Avs would trade Matt Duchene, Kevin Shattenkirk, and Paul Stastny to the Wild in return for Havlat. This made sense to Sherman, since teams often "would love to be rid of" their top scorers.

The Wild are "mighty nervous" about Mikko Koivu being signed at $6.75 million for the next SEVEN years:

RUMOR: The truth behind this is that Todd Richards actually said he was "mighty nervous" about Koivu having that much money for the next SEVEN years. As many people know, Finns are notoriously terrible with their money. Being such outwardly emotional people leads to spontaneous spending sprees on things such as nipple piercings and gold teeth. Richards was simply lamenting the fact that he didn't want another DJ Niittyy on his roster.

When this came out, of course the Avs jumped at the chance to land such solid two way center as Koivu, especially with his burgeoning Finnish rap career. Imagine the cross promotional possibilities! Having a history of solid deals with the Wild after the Havlat for Duchene, Shattenkirk, and Stastny deal, Sherman once again threw down with Fletcher.

The deal this time? A three way deal in which Washington gets Chris Stewart and Craig Anderson, the Avs get their man in DJ Niittyy, and the Wild would get both Alex Ovechkin and Nicklas Backstrom. The deal was originally just for Ovechkin, but the Wild heard the fans wanted "more" Backstrom and insisted on the current deal.

As you can see, the smallest bit of information can lead to amazing finds. Given the solid sourcing of the last two rumors, they garnered even more information. This HWRG2000 is an amazing invention. Once we get the security figured out, this thing is going to be unstoppable.

Once again, thank you to MBennett for his assistance, and for holding me when I had lost my piece peace of mind after the burglary. I though for sure we had lost everything, and he helped me through it. Although, I don't think I was supposed to tell you about the holding. Oh, well.

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