Ever wondered why Hockey Wilderness doesn't talk about power rankings very much? No? Yeah, us either. However, with the power rankings season in full swing, Hockey Wilderness has decided to get off the side lines and join in. 

Why you ask? Well, you see, power rankings are always good for hits. Rank the 30 teams in an order of your preference, generally without any reason for those rankings, and piss off enough fans to make them stop by and comment on your site, thus raising your page views and making the boss happy. 

Problem is, the boss around here doesn't care much about page views, nor does the second in command. We do, however, care deeply about cynicism and snark in the hopes of entertaining our base. 

With that, we bring you the first ever Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings. 

Our basis for the rankings this week? The combined total of the top line players' sweater numbers (Their CSN score). Tie breaker goes to the team with the highest points in the standings. Seems an entirely too obvious way to do things. How about this? Tie goes to the team with the most letters among those players' names (LPN score). Upon a tie in that category, we'll go with starting goalie's sweater number (SGSN score). 

Lines courtesy of Daily Faceoff. 

Much better.

Our Rankings

Eastern Conference

Tough break for the Penguins, losing on the second tie breaker. By one. Marc-Andre Fleury screwed you. You should probably trade him for Jose Theodore. And what say you Pens and Flyers fans? Your top lines have the same total number from sweater numbers AND the same number of letters in those player's names. That just creepy. 

Look at that number from the Bolts. Yowza. 

Western Conference

So the Ducks and Wild go to the tie breaker, and the Wild game up just short. That's what happens with injuries, though. See how much the loss of Guillaume Latendresse hurts this team? In this situation, the Wild have a real chance of being the worst team in the league. 

Numbers you can trust, ladies and gentlemen. Hope you enjoyed our first ever Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings. If you have any suggestions on how to rank the teams next week, leave them in the comment section. 

Forgotten Stick Tap while writing this late Wednesday night to Mr. Mike Bennett. This was his wonderful idea to use the stats you see above.