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Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings: 11-25-2011

Last week, we entered into the wonderful world of NHL power rankings with our first ever Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings that ranked the teams by the combined jersey score of their top line players. We have reports of the line for a Tampa Bay Lightning - St. Louis Blues Stanley Cup Final fluctuating in Vegas. 

Always trust the numbers, folks. Always trust the numbers. 

This week, we continue our look at the teams in the NHL, and how their respective power is calculated properly. With so many choices to rank the teams, and none of them valuable in the slightest, we have followed the advice of one of our readers (don't worry, we have all of your suggestions documented for future use), and we move into a more traditional method of ordering things. 

After the jump, our NHL power rankings.

Star-divide

Following a suggestion, we decided to take things in a traditional ordering system methodology. Of course, when "do it alphabetically" came up, that seemed like it was too simple. I mean, if we're going to do this, we need to really do this. Then we decided to order them alphabetically, but using their nickname's Russian translation. Then, to make it extra fun, we decided to use our Poorly Translated Russian scores in order to do so.

After all, if you can choose between actual Russian translations, and a poorly translated version straight from Google, why not go with the latter? 

So, this week, your teams are ranked first by their Poorly Translated Russian First Letter Score, or PTRFLS. To break ties, we added the Poorly Translated Russian Second Letter Score (PTRSLS), Poorly Translated Russian Third Letter Score (PTRTLS), and of course, the all powerful Poorly Translated Russian Fourth Letter Score (PTRFoLS). 

Your rankings are as follows:

Eastern Conference

 

Rank

Team

(Poorly Translated Russian)

PTRFLS

PTRSLS

PTRTLS

PTRFoLS

Last Week

Change

1

Hurricanes

Ураганы

21

18

8

+7

2

Jets

Струи

19

20

18

7

+5

3

Capitals

столиц

19

20

16

13

+10

4

Senators

Сенаторы

19

6

14

+10

5

Sabres

Сабли

19

1

11

+6

6

Rangers

Рейнджерс

18

9

+3

7

Penguins

Пингвины

17

10

6

-1

8

Panthers

пантеры

17

1

12

+4

9

Islanders

островов

16

19

2

-7

10

Lightning

молния

14

16

1

-9

11

Maple Leafs

Мэйпл Лифс

14

10

3

-8

12

Flyers

Листовки

13

10

5

-7

13

Canadiens

Канадиенс

12

1

10

-3

14

Devils

Дьяволы

5

3

15

+1

15

Bruins

Брюинз

2

18

4

-11

Western Confernece

 

Rank

Team

(Poorly Translated Russian)

PTRFLS

PTRSLS

PTRTLS

PTRFoLS

Last Week

Change

1

Predators

хищники

23

10

+9

2

Ducks

Утки

21

20

15

+13

3

Flames

огонь

16

4

12

+9

4

Oilers

непромокаемый костюм

15

5

+1

5

Avalanche

лавина

13

1

9

+4

6

Red Wings

красный крылья

12

18

4

-2

7

Kings

Короли

12

16

18

13

+6

8

Coyotes

Койоты

12

16

11

2

-6

9

Canucks

Кэнакс

12

9

7

-2

10

Stars

Звезды

9

3

6

-4

11

Wild

дикий

5

10

14

+3

12

Blackhawks

Блэкхокс

2

14

3

-9

13

Blues

блюз

2

13

32

9

1

-12

14

Blue Jackets

Блю Джекетс

2

13

32

5

8

-6

15

Sharks

Акулы

1

12

11

-4

 Once again, this week we see how powerful the letters of the alphabet are when it comes to ensuring the dominance of your hockey club. While the Bolts and Blues all powerful last week, a change in the rules has clearly created choas for them. If only the CBA were written in stone, eh boys?

Great to see the Ducks respond with such a strong week, though, isn't it. They'll be dancing in Disneyland in no time. As for the Wild, these letter based ranking just are not good to them. If only Chuck Fletcher had known he would be judged on pure an utter lunacy.

What say you Wilderness? How do we stack up against other power rankings? Have any suggestions for how you would like to see the teams ranked?

Comment 6 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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Shocking Falls

Wow! What happened to TB and STL? They were looking so great last week and they’ve plummeted in the power rankings. I guess it’s still early and they’re strong teams that can claw their way back up, what with their respective offensive power and new coach. Who’d a thunk that they’d look so bad when measured by PTRFLS, but I guess the numbers don’t lie.
All I know is, I’ll for sure tune in next week to keep track of your expert power rankings that tell a weekly story of the drama of the NHL.

One recommendation: Perhaps you could make them daily power rankings so we don’t miss out on any of the suspense!

by LoToMojo on Nov 25, 2011 12:36 PM CST reply actions  

Ha ha. I don’t have quite that much time.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Please consider donating to my Movember campaign. Together, we can change the face of men's health.

by BReynolds on Nov 25, 2011 7:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Ducks, Flames, and Avs fans must be dancing in the streets after the incredible climb of their teams.

In all seriousness, NHL Network has actually been talking about the Wild. Marty Turco believes that the goaltending and defense will actually win the Northwest Division, while E.J. Hradek can’t stop talking about the Wild (when he’s not talking about Crosby) on NHL Live.

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation

by JDesthubert on Nov 25, 2011 12:47 PM CST reply actions  

Should I be worried that they’re finally getting some media attention? The whole flying-under-the-radar thing was working pretty well.

by mg7505 on Nov 25, 2011 12:57 PM CST up reply actions  

Hahahah

Nah, I wouldn’t be too concerned. Only REAL hockey fans watch the NHL Network, and they already know the Wild are The Silent Assassins.
Most “sports fans” watch ESPN, and they refuse to recognize that hockey is still a sport.

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation

by JDesthubert on Nov 25, 2011 1:19 PM CST up reply actions  

Я не панимаю.

HW Power rankings do not disappoint.

by unyieldingflan on Nov 28, 2011 10:50 PM CST reply actions  

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