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Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings: 12-2-2011

For the past two weeks, we have openly mocked the power rankings process that not only permeates the hockey world, but also the sports world. If you look hard enough, you can bet there are power rankings for the Swedish Lawn Golf league. If you run, or participate in, any sort of local sports league, may I suggest publishing a weekly power ranking for that league?

Imagine the high level debate, after a couple rounds, about which team is truly the better horseshoe throwers.

This week, we rank the NHL it terms of the most critical piece of information there is. Size. While you may have heard "size doesn't matter," you never go to the store and buy the smallest sub possible, do you? Didn't think so. At the same time, finding a strong, small player that can really play is a great find.

See how the brakes were thrown on right there at the end?

Make the jump for this week's power rankings.

Star-divide

Two weeks ago, we started with sweater numbers. Last week, we moved on to the Russian alphabet. This week, we look simply at the size of the defensive corps. In a twist, the teams with the tallest defensemen get only a secondary bonus.

Our power rankings this week start by ranking the teams in order of their shortest defenseman, the SDO score. The first tie breaker is the OVERCOMP score, showing how much the teams over compensate for small size by signing the biggest brute they can find. As a final tie breaker, each team is given a FTTY score, in which they are ordered by their lightest weight defenseman.

Jared would be so proud.

Here are your Hockey Wilderness Power Rankings

Eastern Conference

Rank

Team

SDO

OVERCOMP

FTTY

Last Week

Change

1

Lightning

5' 9"

6' 6"

194

10

+9

2

Maple Leafs

5' 10"

6' 6"

173

11

+9

3

Flyers

5' 10"

6' 6"

180

12

+9

4

Panthers

5' 10"

6' 5"

179

8

+4

5

Jets

5' 10"

6' 5"

190

2

-3

6

Bruins

5' 11"

6' 9"

15

+9

7

Canadiens

5' 11"

6' 7"

13

+6

8

Devils

5' 11"

6' 4"

190

14

-6

9

Islanders

5' 11"

6' 4"

191

9

-

10

Rangers

5' 11"

6' 4"

193

6

-4

11

Sabres

6'

6' 8"

5

-6

12

Capitals

6'

6' 6"

3

-9

13

Senators

6'

6' 5"

180

4

-9

14

Hurricanes

6'

6' 5"

200

1

-13

15

Penguins

6'

6' 3"

7

-8

Roller coaster week in the East, as the Bolts regain control of the conference. The Hurricanes did not appreciate the change in ranking rules, and simply could not adjust fast enough to keep up. This change did, however, allow Maple Leafs to assert themselves, as well as the Canadiens. Any time the two most valuable franchises in the league do well, it is good for everyone.

Western Conference

Rank

Team

SDO

OVERCOMP

FTTY

Last Week

Change

1

Predators

5' 8"

6' 4"

1

-

2

Wild

5' 9"

6' 5"

11

+9

3

Ducks

5' 10"

6' 6"

2

-1

4

Blues

5' 10"

6' 4"

172

13

+9

5

Red Wings

5' 10"

6' 4"

190

6

+1

6

Avalanche

5' 11"

6' 5"

180

5

-1

7

Sharks

5' 11"

6' 5"

190

15

+8

8

Canucks

5' 11"

6' 5"

198

9

+1

9

Stars

5' 11"

6' 4"

10

+1

10

Kings

5' 11"

6' 3"

199

7

-3

11

Blue Jackets

5' 11"

6' 3"

202

14

+3

12

Blackhawks

6'

6' 8"

12

-

13

Oilers

6'

6' 6"

4

-9

14

Flames

6'

6' 5"

3

-11

15

Coyotes

6'

6' 3"

8

-7

The Predators hold fast to their top spot, showing that not only are the dominant in Russian, but also in tiny defensemen. The Flames, on the other hand, along with the Oilers, show their true power and fall to the bottom of the league. Six foot defensemen will kill you every time. Every GM knows that, and they ignored the rules.

Of note for Wild fans, the Wild moved up to second in the west on the back of Jared Spurgeon. If only the Isles had his true value, indeed.

What say you, Wilderness? Who ranks too high? Too low? Any ideas for how to rank them next week?

Comment 20 comments  |  1 recs  | 

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Absolutely. Love. It.

Well played Reynolds, well played.

In Lou We Trust: SBN Blog of the New Jersey Devils

by Tom Stivali on Dec 2, 2011 12:04 PM CST reply actions  

Great post, always fun to read these.

not a chance we could do one by captian’s favorite food? I can’t believe you couldn’t find that in some interview somewhere for each team. Or by best facial hair… too bad movember is over. Just some ideas though no doubt you have plenty already.

by HockeyNovice on Dec 2, 2011 12:31 PM CST reply actions  

Hahaha, I can’t believe that no one suggest best ’stache as the PR for any point last month. Would have been pure comedy genius.

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation
Regressing all the way back to high school hockey.

by JDesthubert on Dec 2, 2011 12:38 PM CST up reply actions  

would have been wonderful, pictures and everything

by HockeyNovice on Dec 2, 2011 12:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Nice.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Master of unsustainable passive regression.

by BReynolds on Dec 2, 2011 1:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Captains abilitity to be understood on an American Interview

Puts probably LA(Brown), MTL, NJD, NYR or STL in the running for number 1(Hmm 3 NYers and 2 Minnesotans, wonder what the worse accent is).

And Boston and Washingtion tied for last, cause who can ever tell what the fuck Chara and Ovie are saying.

by ThatGuy22 on Dec 2, 2011 12:58 PM CST reply actions  

On the same thought

Why do new outlets still interview Gaborik?

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation
Regressing all the way back to high school hockey.

by JDesthubert on Dec 2, 2011 1:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Hockey is good.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Master of unsustainable passive regression.

by BReynolds on Dec 2, 2011 1:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Here's a thought

Rank them by funniest name on the team. Spurgeon “on your face” should still place well for the home team. Plus, Columbus could get some recognition for Grant Clitsome.

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation
Regressing all the way back to high school hockey.

by JDesthubert on Dec 2, 2011 1:22 PM CST reply actions  

Wow. Marty really drags down the Lightning roster, doesn’t he? And, sadly, they list him at 5’9" when he’s really about 5’6".

"You don't have enough talent to win on talent alone." -Herb Brooks

Raw Charge, an SBN Tampa Bay Lightning community. Follow me on Twitter: @dagmar27.

by Cassie McClellan on Dec 2, 2011 1:24 PM CST reply actions  

Actually, Marty is not to blame (credit?) here. This is defensemen only, so Marc-Andre Bergeron won this week for you. We didn’t call him Queen MAB for no reason, you know.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Master of unsustainable passive regression.

by BReynolds on Dec 2, 2011 2:12 PM CST up reply actions  

idea for future ranking

How about some sort of formula that ranks teams based on how many Minnesotans they have on their roster

2010-2011 Minnesota Wild Fantasy League Champion
President/CEO of the Tutu Many Slapshots fantasy hockey club

by Chris Winner on Dec 2, 2011 3:00 PM CST reply actions  

Good one!

That’s the only thing that matters to Minny sports fans, right? Tie breaker can be number who attended college in Minnesota.

"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever." Shane Falco
"The Sharks got the better deal. They got a Burns. The Wild lost a Burns. You need a Burns to be good." KFAN's Jacques Lemaire 6-25-2011

by minnesotagirl71 on Dec 2, 2011 3:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Blackhawks win

They have Nick “The Savior” Leddy

Unashamed Alex Burrows Fanboy, MN Wild Lover, and believer in the FLA Cats Blueprint

by JMarushin on Dec 2, 2011 3:46 PM CST up reply actions  

Hawks would get a clear boost due to their Savior scores.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Master of unsustainable passive regression.

by BReynolds on Dec 2, 2011 4:02 PM CST up reply actions  

This is awesome.

Nicely done!

Regressing to the top of the league.

by GerDevine on Dec 2, 2011 3:26 PM CST reply actions  

That sound you heard?

That was Gary Bettman and TV executives deucing their pants at seeing the picture caption

Unashamed Alex Burrows Fanboy, MN Wild Lover, and believer in the FLA Cats Blueprint

by JMarushin on Dec 2, 2011 3:49 PM CST reply actions  

This

Hahahaha. I do have to thank you, as I can never laugh enough in any give day. Genius!!!

You know you're a Wild fan if Spam Whoopie Gerald-buns comes up in conversation
Regressing all the way back to high school hockey.

by JDesthubert on Dec 2, 2011 3:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Oh man… Preds / Bolts would give him nightmares.

Editor:Hockey Wilderness Editor:In Lax We Trust Now with more Twitterness: ReynoldsSBN

Master of unsustainable passive regression.

by BReynolds on Dec 2, 2011 4:02 PM CST up reply actions  

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