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The 12 Days of Wild Christmas: Day 1

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Just like the song we all know, everyday from now until Christmas, we will deliver the set number of gifts to all of you. We offer apologies to anyone who does not celebrate Christmas (it annoys me, too), but the song works so well, we're going to use it anyway.

In case anyone doesn't know the tune:

 

Without further adieu, and feel free to sing out loud while you are at work:

On the first day of Wild Christmas, the Wild gave to me:

An owner who keeps gnashing his teeth...

(Stick tap to MBennett for getting us started - have an idea for the rest of the days? Submit them in the comment section. It may make the final list!)