We here at Hockey Wilderness are big fans of rumors. Trade rumors, signing rumors during the summer, who is dating who in Hollywood, all of it. We just can't get enough of suggestions like "Alex Ovechkin to the Wild for James Sheppard and a seventh round pick in 2042."
We also enjoy that there is a site out there where people pay their hard earned money to have a man pick names out of a hat and throw together a rumor to entertain them. No one ever seems to admit to visiting the site, yet the guy continues to make a pretty good living running the site. Le sigh.
In the spirit of good sportsmanship, but mostly just to poke fun at the rumor mill establishment and entertain ourselves, we introduce the Hockey Wilderness Rumor Generator. With the high speed and high tech systems at our disposal, we here at HW will take the smallest bit of random information and tell you exactly what it means.
For more information on this high tech piece of equipment, make the jump.
In order to sell us this fine product, the inventor of the generator (MBennett) showed us this example of how well it works:
Say someone sent us the information that Matt Cullen was seen carrying a dog bowl. We plug that information into the super computer and it tells us this:
Rumor generation: Los Angeles is in the market for a center. As a normal Minnesota guy, Matt Cullen likes his dog. He feeds his dog Science Diet brand food. This brand is owned by the Hills company. There is/was a show called "The Hills" on TV, based in LA. Matt Cullen is rumored to be the player the L.A. Kings are desiring.
The generator seems to work on a "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" type engine, but we are not nearly smart enough to crack the devious code used by Mr. Bennett in his design.
In order for the rumor generator to work, we need your eyes, ears, and most of all, your random imaginary events. Did you have a day dream that Mikko Koivu enjoys chocolate ice cream? Let us know, since that obviously means he is on his way to the Houston, since everyone knows only players who like vanilla are allowed in the NHL.
In order to handle and process the expected flood of information, we have set up a new email address for you to send your secret tips into us.
Here is what we need from you to have a rumor generated:
1. Your name
2. Your Hockey Wilderness ID (if you have one)
3. Your juicy tidbit (not a rumor, we need just the "facts")
We thank you in advance for your creativity and insane ramblings. We look forward to assisting you in your quest to get Evgeni Malkin in Iron Range Red in trade for Cam Barker.