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Hockey Wilderness Fantasy League: Mid-season Awards

We asked Theo if we could loan the trophy for the mid-season awards. He said ''Vous êtes qui, vous autres?'', which means ''Who are you guys?''. Security escorted us off the premises shorty after.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
We asked Theo if we could loan the trophy for the mid-season awards. He said ''Vous êtes qui, vous autres?'', which means ''Who are you guys?''. Security escorted us off the premises shorty after. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
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Hey everyone! Hope we succeeded in keeping you busy in this last Wild-free week. With the REAL NHL action resuming tomorrow and after recapping the action so far in the HWFL, I decided to give out fake mid-season awards! Bryan helped me out on this one also, how nice. A lot of these awards will tell GMs what they did right, what they did wrong, and what they could change. Some of them will just plain make you giggle and be proud of your creativity. Should be lots of fun. The drinks aren't free though, you'll have to talk to Bryan about that! Also, since Bryan seems to hate it when my votes are the same as his, a lot of the awards have two different winners. There are two ways to proceed here: Either both winners are happy to win... absolutely nothing really, or they fight to the death over who the true winner is. If they choose the second option, we'll have to ask you to take it outside, in the parking lot, next to the bicycle racks.

Let's get started with the first ever HWFL mid-season awards show!


The Jeff Beukeboom award for Best Team Name:

JS: My vote here goes to Tara's Finnish your Czechs. Pretty witty, plus we currently have 5 Finnish or Czech players on the Wild.

Bryan: His vote goes to Elise's Fedoruk's Face, likely because of the treatment it was given by Derek Boogaard.


The Jeremy Roenick award for Best Team Slogan:

JS: Mine has to go to Hakan Loobies for ''I almost picked Benoit Pouliot...Forgive me'' . Excellent.

Bryan: It's a two-way tie between Redheaded Step Child's '' I do the beating around here'' and Bertrand Acadians' '' I just wanna beat Bryan'' for originality. 


The Chuck Fletcher award for best trade:

JS: Puttin On the Foil trades Anze Kopitar, Jarome Iginla and Nikolai Khabibulin to The Haves and Havlats for Ales Hemsky, Olli Jokinen and Ilya Bryzgalov. Very intriguing blockbuster trade, the biggest in terms of players moved and kind of hard to discern a true winner as of yet.

Bryan: Bertrand Acadians trade Ryan Malone for Loquita Bananas' Guillaume Latendresse, especially once Lats went down. 


The Glen Sather award for worst trade:

JS: No contest here, Bertrand Acadians give away Ryan Kesler and Dustin Byfuglien to Krotz the Wall, who laughs all the way to 2nd place knowing he just had to give Tyler Bozak and Kevin Bieksa. What the hell was I thinking?

Bryan: He just said that I should win this one no matter what. Turns out, I would've won even if he had put more thought into it!


The Miska award for Best team logo:

JS: I'll have to go for Puttin on the Foil's picture of a bloody Hanson Brother! Gotta love Slap Shot and the Hanson Brothers!

Bryan: He shamelessly gives this award to himself, for the Buddha on a goalie mask. To those who don't know, Bryan's nickname is Buddha. Been a while since I saw someone call him that though!


The Rich Peverley award for Best free-agent/waiver pickup:

JS: Know Knothings for the pickup of Sergei Bobrovsky

Bryan: Zombies for picking up Logan Couture.


The Riser award for Best draft:

JS: I have to give this award to myself (Bertrand Acadians), however, I did a poor job AFTER the draft, ridding myself of players I really shouldn't have.

Bryan: His vote goes to Redheaded Step Child, who drafted first and is currently tops in the league and has been for a very long time. Obviously drafted great.


The Wayne Gretzky award for the team with the best centers:

JS: I'll go with Rubber Mallets for this one (Brad Richards, Brandon Dubinsky, Andy McDonald (C,LW), Brian Boyle, Evgeni Malkin, Dave Steckel)

Bryan: He is torn between the 12th Legion (Sidney Crosby, Patrick Marleau(C,LW), Saku Koivu, Matt Cullen, Nathan Gerbe(C, LW))and Datsyukian Dekes (Paul Stastny, Joe Thornton, Patrik Elias(C,LW), Joe Pavelski(C,RW))


The Luc Robitaille Award for the team with the best left wingers:

JS: Fedoruk's Face (Scott Hartnell, Chris Kunitz, Rick Nash (LW,RW) )

Bryan: Datsyukian Dekes ( Patrik Elias (C,LW), Ryane Clowe, Andrew Brunette)


The Gordie Howe award for the team with the best right wingers:

JS: Krotz the Wall (Corey Perry, Dustin Byfuglien (RW,D), Nathan Horton, Brad Boyes)

Bryan: The Haves and Havlats (Marian Hossa, Jarome Iginla, Brian Gionta)


The Bobby Orr award for the team with the best defensemen:

JS: Datsyukian Dekes (Nicklas Lidstrom, Ryan Suter, Marc Staal, Marek Zidlicky, Steve Montador)

Bryan: Did not vote on this one, I guess he couldn't make up his mind.

(Please keep in mind that for the player awards, we considered the positions given by Yahoo! and not necessarily the ones they play in real life)


The #33 award for the team with the best goaltenders:

JS: Datsyukian Dekes (Jimmy Howard, Tim Thomas)

Bryan: Redheaded Step Child (Jonas Hiller, Corey Crawford)


The Eric Lindros award for the unluckiest team:

JS: My vote goes to Rubber Mallets. Currently injured on the team: Brandon Dubinsky, Evgeni Malkin, Alexander Semin, Andy MacDonald. WOW.

Bryan: He said ''Whichever team is Monica's'', which means Ihmeellinen9. Not quite sure what the reasoning is, but Monica seems to agree.


The Anything but Holland award for best GM:

We're both going for Redheaded Step Child for this one. He's been dominant all season long, drafted well, made good pickups when necessary.


The next awards are awards that cannot be voted on, they're just fact.

The Steven Stamkos award for most goals: Krotz the Wall (155)

The Henrik Sedin award for most assists: Datsyukian Dekes (258)

The Daniel Carcillo award for most PIM: Bertrand Acadians (444)

The Opportunist award for most power play points: Datsyukian Dekes (155)

The Alex Ovechkin award for most shots on goal: Loquita bananas (1443)

The Manny Malhotra award for most faceoff wins: The 12th Legion (1429)

The Cal Clutterbuck award for most hits: Know Knothings (945) 

The Greg Zanon award for most blocks: Bertrand Acadians (632)

The Martin Brodeur award for most goaltending wins: Datsyukian Dekes (46)

The Tim Thomas award for best GAA: Loquita bananas (2.31)

The Tomas Vokoun award for most saves: The Haves and Havlats (2519)

The Patrick Roy award for best SV%: Datsyukian Dekes (.925)

The Terry Sawchuk award for most shutouts: Datsyukian Dekes and Loquita bananas (9)


And so concludes this three-part feature of the Hockey Wilderness Fantasy League all-star break extravaganza. What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Feel free to comment on what you liked, didn't like, feel free to start a riot because you think we're wrong or whatever, hope you enjoyed it, and now, back to your original program!