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Noon Number for 5-24-2013: 5-3-2

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Everyone's playing, scoring, and cornholing- all except the Wild!

I'm afraid Cam Barker blue himself.
I'm afraid Cam Barker blue himself.
USA TODAY Sports

5-3-2

That's the record the Minnesota Wild have on days that an episode of Arrested Development premiered. The Wild, who essentially functions as the one son who keeps Minnesota's pro hockey family together after they lost everything, have clearly been inspired by Never-Nudes and Le Cousins Dangereux, being a well-above .500 team on nights that they could come home to (what would then be) a video cassette with that night's episode on it. This includes a blistering 3-1-1 record on nights an episode premiered AND the Wild played in their favorite banana stand.

It's clear, as determined through the principles of Caged Wisdom, that were the Wild still in the playoffs, and playing Sunday, when the new season of Arrested Development premieres on a prominent website that I don't think I can directly advertise for, that victory would be all but assured. Too bad the Wild have already had their Final Countdown.

Now, get back to your Maritime and Bob Loblaws.