clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Guest post: Why you should hate the Avs part 2

New, comments

Longtime site friend MightyMikeD jumps into the troll fun with his take on why you should hate the Avs

Why you heft to be mad?
Why you heft to be mad?
Harry How

For the last couple of days we've had some fun at Avs fans expense. To be fair, they have done this not only to our fan base, but many others over the years, but it was fun to watch some of them flip out over a few clearly stated trolling articles.

Today, we continue our troll-fest with some help from MightyMikeD, who just happens to be Ger's brother and a Blackhawks fan/writer. You can check out his stuff at Cheer The Anthem. Mike jumped at the opportunity to poke some fun at the Avs fan base, and after yesterday I can only imagine how much fun it will be.

So sit back and relax, and enjoy's MMd's take on why you should hate the Avs.

There are many reasons to intensely dislike this year's Math & Logic defying Divisional Champions. For a start, there's their arrogant, smirking prick of a Coach, Patrick Roy. Sure, he's a lock for the Jack Adams for the usual befuddled reasons that the PWHA use to select the annual gong-recipients (see Trophy, Norris for further examples) and sure, for a Rookie HC to take a team to the top of the Toughest Division in Hockey is an achievement. But he's done it with the sort of deft touch and grace we recall from his playing days. There was the glass banging temper-tantrum against the Ducks at the start of the season. There was also his tone-deaf refusal to address the Varlamov situation with anything other than a smirk and a wink. Above all, there is the fact that he's not faced any real adversity yet. The rest of the league excitedly awaits how Roy reacts to a sustained losing streak, awkward questions and public criticism. Comme c'est dit "Meltdown?"


Varlamov aside, the Avs roster are a fairly inoffensive bunch: Gabriel Landeskog enjoys introducing his elbows to new people and Cody McLeod is an out and out ass-rash, but in a Division with the Blues they hardly stand out. Nate MacKinnon is going to walk away with the Calder (although if Tomas Hertl had stayed healthy it might have been a closer race), Ryan O'Reilly finally took a penalty (for playing with a broken stick, the fiend!) and Matt Duchene is always fun to watch unless its happening to you. They're a fast and skilful team that are very good at punishing mistakes.. but..


The really, really annoying thing about the Avalanche is, as mentioned above, their defiance of the numbers. Basically the Avs get outshot, a lot. If you look at their Shots For/Against, they're down at the bottom of the table surrounded by the likes of the Sabres, Oilers, Panthers and Jets. Their Puck Possession numbers stink to high heaven.Their PDO, which is, essentially, a measure of 'Luck' is 3rd in the League. Varlamov is puttin up insane numbers. It can't last. They are on borrowed time. (However, it must be said, that time may not run out this side of the Stanley Cup Final) Their fans, meanwhile, are behaving as Ducks fans did last year, Wild fans did the year before (yes, you lot) and Toronto fans do all the time: they put both fingers in their ears and sing "LALALLALLLALAAACAN'THEARYOU". But there's still a Market Correction a-coming and I, for one, can't wait to see Roy spit the dummy when it does.