With Thursday night's loss against the Chicago Blackhawks the Wild's season is over. Some look at the season as a success and some look at the season as a failure.
I think we can all agree though that we are grieving. We grieve for our inability to beat the Blackhawks in the playoffs. We grieve for buying expensive fricken tickets to Round 2 games only to see our team lose. We grieve every time Suter sends a weak-wristed shot into the legs of a defender 5 feet away from him.
To help you with your grief I have decided to take you through the 5 stages of Grief: #LOLMNSPORTS Edition.
Stage 1 - Denial
I bet you think if only Patrick Kane wouldn't have been given super-solider serum to heal so fast from his collarbone injury that we would have won? Or maybe you think if only Jason Pominville had a longer stick he would stop whiffing on shots we would have won?
Welcome to stage 1--you're in denial. The Wild never had a chance to win this series. Get a clue, will you? Move on. In fact, move on to...
Stage 2 - Anger
You're right! This isn't fair. The refs screwed us. Fire Yeo. Where the hell was Vanek? Did Koivu even play this last series--no seriously. I'm being serious for real. Suter is overrated and he isn't living up to his contract. Trade the whole team and rebuild!
Welcome to stage 2--you're angry. Guess what? The team you saw this year is going to be the team we see next year. The only players we can trade are younger guys or 3/4 line guys. All of the people I bitched about above? They fricken have NTC or NMC in their contracts. Get used to seeing Suter continue to play on the PP1. Get used to Koivu doing something defensively or something in the face-off circle but not much else anywhere else.
The good news though? Vanek will continue to backcheck the shit out of opponents on every play in every game. But I'm sure this team can change and find success in the playoffs next year. If only we...
Stage 3 - Bargaining
Do well in the NHL draft and find that diamond in the rough. All we need is the next Brandon Saad or John Gaudreau. Alex Tuch is going to be a future 30/30 guy, right? Of course he is, have you seen his size and hands? He's gonna be WAY better than Charlie Coyle. All we need to do is grow the young guns and continue to rely on the veterans for leadership as well as hogging all the important minutes that they deserve. Which leads me to...
Stage 4 - Depression
But the veterans don't deserve all those minutes. Granlund is overrated. Suter on the powerplay is like a bad joke that gets told over and over and over again. Coyle is a glorified 3rd liner. Yeo can't coach is way out purse (Get it? Because Coach is a type of purse. Here, I'll say the joke again: Yeo can't coach his way out of a purse!). Ah, who are we kidding here. The hell with it...
Stage 5 - Acceptance
This team will probably never be a Stanley Cup team. We will probably never be higher than a 7th or 8th seed. This team is mixed with above average veterans and average young players. We don't have any game changers; we don't have any superstars; we damn sure don't have any generational talent. Hell, I would say we don't even have any All-Stars on this team but NHL rules dictate that at least one player from each team play in the All-Star game. #everybodywins #participationtrophies #pansyassbabies
Let's face it: this team will start out hot next year, suck ass from middle of November to February and then start to claw its way back into the wildcard picture.
Welcome to LOLMNSPORTS. When you start feeling secure and confident about your team it rips your fucking heart out.