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Hellebuyck, Jets Blank Wild's Uninspired Play 1-0

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Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

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Son of a Bitch! God damn it! What the shitten shit was that!?!?!

Another one goal loss where the Wild play like garbage by giving up an early goal and forcing the puck around the ice. Hockey puck? Get these guys a burnt-to-crisp Pillsbury biscuit and see if they can pass that around any better.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH

- - -

Ok.

The Minnesota Wild was unable to score, versus the Jets as Connor Hellebuyck stopped all 24 shots on goal, including three Wild power plays, and an empty net situation to shutout the Wild on home ice. Not only was the Wild shutout on home ice in this game, but it was shutout for the recent three game homestand, and absolutely just one lowly point in a shootout loss to the Flyers in the last four home games.

If the Wild was a famous sinking ship, then it has just hit the iceberg.

One of us, Blake Wheeler, someone who ironically developed just fine under the tutledge of Don Lucia at the University of Minnesota, scored on a knuckling puck that fluttered under the glove of Devan Dubnyk. The goal, coming just past the three minute mark of the first period, was able to stand tall as the Jets frustrated the Wild all night long. Minnesota players were attempting to force pucks through players, but they were denied by physics. Players couldn't win a battle to save their lives (much like the scene in the film Saving Private Ryan where the soldier lost the fight in which he was bayoneted to death). This was a slow death, actually, just like being bayoneted. Not many pucks really threatened Hellebuyck as most came from the perimeter.

The power play was 0-for-3, and nothing changed in personnel or system-wise as most players stood stagnant in their designated spots. They were easy to defend. Subsequent power plays had better movement of the puck, but still no real great shots. The best shot and chance for the Wild to score that actually wasn't registered as a shot was on the Wild's second power play when Zach Parise shot the puck off the left post from the right circle.

Mind you, the Jets, a Central Division cellar dweller, coming off a back-to-back, handled and frustrated the Wild all night. The building, which is usually money when the Jets come to town, was quiet. A normally raucous crowd with a good mix of Wild and Jets fans was utterly silenced by the Wild's performance on the ice.

The Wild had freaking four - 4!!! - shots on goal in the second period.

This game sucked. When you take this game and place it into the context of the putrid play in the last few games, this game was awful in every meaning of the word.

Good teams don't do this. If the Wild want to be considered amongst the league's best, it has to either put up, or shut up. It's great that we know that they know they need to play better, but here's a thought: how about actually playing better??? Stop with the lip service.

Anyways, the Wild will now head out on the road to take on the Predators, Ducks, Kings, and Sharks, so...you know, that'll be just freaking peachy.

Alright, ranting and raving is over. I'm going to go and try to purge this game from my memory so that I can be a good husband and father to my wife and kids the rest of the weekend.