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Wilderness Walk: Alternative Activities Edition

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Don't think about this any longer.

Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

I'd like to congradutate the Minnesota Wild for doing something different yesterday — instead of just being sort of terrible and making me sad, which has been going on for a month now, they also managed to be baffling, which was new, and honestly, sort of exciting. Of course, it would be better to win and not be any sort of disaster, but that seems unlikely. If improvement isn't possible I'll settle for change.

Today I'd like to recommend five alternative hobbies that are not thinking about the Minnesota Wild:

  1. Paint your nails. Do something really fabulous. I realize that nail polish is often seen as a feminine accessory, but gender is a social construct, and nail polish is for everyone.
  2. Read a book. I've been caught up in Maggie Steifvater's Raven Cycle, and I have so many feelings about every single character. It's so much.
  3. Any craft project that involved hot glue. You'll burn your finger tips, but that's part of the fun, I promise.
  4. Get a dog. I wish I could get a dog. Dogs are fantastic. Having a dog would keep you really busy, you wouldn't have time to think about the Wild.
  5. Listen to Beyonce.

Now, if none of those strike your fancy you could go back to thinking about a team that can't win, is making bizarre lineup decisions, and has at least one, but probably two of their better defensemen injured. Who do you think should be playing with Suter if Brodin and Spurgeon are both out? Do you really think your answer to that is going to be the same as Mike Yeo's answer? Really? Are you sure? Stop wondering, go read a book.

Is there really any other song it could be?

Wild News

Shorthanded woes send Wild to 10th loss in 11 games - StarTribune.com You could read this article and be sad.

Wild notes: Injuries to Brodin, Spurgeon another concern - StarTribune.com Or this one.

Wild GM Chuck Fletcher speaks about his team’s struggles – Twin Cities Or this one.

Wild’s Thomas Vanek, Jason Zucker scratched from the lineup – Twin Cities This one will probably make you sad, or at least confused.

Mike Yeo’s job is safe, Wild GM says – Twin Cities This could be sadness depending on where you stand on the issue, but it definitely isn't not-sad.

Wild’s changes bring only another loss – Twin Cities This one is sadness.

Wild’s Thomas Vanek, Jason Zucker scratched from the lineup – Twin Cities Scratched more like head scratching! Oh hey, look at that, a joke! Still sad though.

Wild’s changes bring only another loss – Twin Cities The sadness never changes.

Off the Trail

Women's Hockey Notebook: Amanda Kessel returns; Inferno 'Start the Spark' | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports Best Kessel!!!!

LA Kings players find confidant in Brantt Myhres | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports This is really neat. I'm glad to see that teams are starting to think up with new ways of handling substance abuse.

Ex-Wild enforcer John Scott went from an All-Star Game joke to MVP - StarTribune.com Feel good story of the year, no doubt.

Blues' David Backes hasn't forgotten Minnesota hockey roots - StarTribune.com I DON'T CARE

Erik Karlsson nets 4 assists, remains categorically unmatched | theScore.com What a cool dude. Never should've cut his hair though.

Goalies take ceremonial faceoff with Martin Brodeur | theScore.com Anytime goalies have to do something that isn't tend goal it's cute!

Suspension appeal hearing for Flames' Wideman set for Wednesday | theScore.com Something to keep an eye on.

Crosby earns career points 900, 901, 902 in comeback over Florida (Video) | Puck Daddy - Yahoo Sports I think I'm supposed to care, but that part of me has been consumed by sadness.