Intrepid Managing Editor of the Hockey Wilderness, Joe Bouley, found himself wondering which of his many talented writers was due to provide the Wilderness Walk on October 5, date of the Wild’s first regular season game. Imagine his chagrin when he realized that it was, in fact, that not very talented writer Velgey, a.k.a. me!
“Eh, better make a change there,” Joe thought to himself. “I think he did last year’s first walk of the season too. It wouldn’t be fair to let him have two in a row. I’ll just send him a messa-”
“Hello, Joe. I’ve been expecting you.” I swiveled around in Joe’s office chair. Despite turning 15 degrees past the point where I could comfortably view the look of shock and terror in Joe’s eyes that looked remarkably similar to mild annoyance, I was pretty pleased with the overall effect. “Thinking of replacing me as the writer of today’s Wilderness Walk? I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, uh... hi Velgey. I was going to bring that up with you, although we should first talk about you using me as a character in poorly thought out writing devices. Any way, I was going to see if The Noogie wanted to handle the Walk today.”
“Oh that won’t be possible. I sent The Noogie a cute husky video. He’s been watching it on repeat for the last 18 hours straight.”
“Which one? There are so many!” Joe was growing increasingly uneasy, both with my undermining him and with the length of this Walk intro.
“The one where the dog is giving her owner the silent treatment but finally stops so she can sing along to her favorite song.”
“I’ve seen that one. It’s super cute.”
“Alright, I appreciate that you really want to do the Walk, Velgey, but I think it’s somebody else’s turn.” Joe underestimated my commitment to doing the first gameday Walk of the season and to doing this bit.
“Joe, it can only be me. Jim Dowd’s Pants is busy with the pregame post. I asked mntrumpterguy what obscure musical subgenres would make good TMNT henchmen names to go along with Bebop and Rocksteady, so he’s pretty preoccupied. Cat Lenander already covers women’s hockey for the Wilderness. Do you really want to bother her with this? I didn’t think so. Greguisition is single-handedly keeping up with Hockey Twitter so he won’t be available. And Kine lives in Finland. Do you have any idea what time it is there?”
“Yeah, it’s like eight hours ahead or something. It’s the late afternoon there.” Joe displayed an uncanny knowledge of time zones, but fortunately I had already asked Kine to not take away my Walk. #Europeanresidents=brothers4eva
Joe relented at last. “Alright, Velgey, fine. You can do the Walk. Just don’t screw it up with a really long, weird intro, okay?”
“I promise nothing.”
It’s finally here! The beginning of the new season is finally here. The Minnesota Wild visit the Detroit Red Wings and their new digs, the Little Caesers Arena. That fever dream of an intro was my attempt to remind everyone of just some of the great people here at Hockey Wilderness that will be covering the Wild, the rest of the NHL, the Baby Wild (thanks dsmcaptive), women’s hockey, some college and high school hockey, and more. There’s a lot of talent and dedication that goes into this site, including the participation of you, the readers of Hockey Wilderness. If you haven’t already, consider signing up as a member of SBNation so you can join in on the gamethreads, comment on articles, and even write your own Fanposts.
Now onto the Walk!
Off the Trail
Check by later for the preview and gamethread